How I went from being an unfit stay at home Mom to a Fit working Mom in one year

     Hey Guys!  So I Promised I would write about my journey, where it has taken me, and where it is taking me.  You guys if some one told me a year ago, I would have abs, and run a half marathon and have a full time job in one year, I would have called them crazy. But first let me fill you in on some back round.  If you don't know me well, you don't know my life has changed in so many ways in the last year.  One Year ago, I was feeding my stomach yeast chocolate a WINE...TONS OF WINE, every day.  literally I was depressed, and tired, and very un fit, and literally craved for bed time, just so I could down a 2-3 glasses of wine, to feel better.  To forget that my hubs was away working, and that I had to single mom it by myself for another day, or week, or 3 weeks.  I had no time for fitness, no I walked but that's it.  I had no time for a job, and the thought of "letting someone else raise my babies" terrified me.  Like crippling terror.  Which is part of why I did it on my own, because I was afraid I was failing by asking for help. 
     However I have learned a lot about myself, and the meaning of family in the last year.  you would think that I watched Lilo and Stitch enough times to get the family thing figured out.  But no.  I was never ok with leaving any one behind, but myself.  I was ok to try to pioneer it on my own because I was afraid to ask, or even think about getting help.  I was dying inside. I was turning into a stressed out coffee and wine addicted MONSTER!  Seriously.  So when 2016 came around, I decided to make a change.  I decided to let this Family be a family.  by family I mean MY in-laws, my sisters, mom, brothers and my dad, all of you!  if you are close to me, you are my family.  And I came to the realization that if I wont let any of you get left behind, I can start expecting little of that from you too.  We need each other. Grandma needs me to help her, and drive her places, and help financially, I need grandma to help me with my kids, and to help me fold my laundry, and to tell me I'm a good mom.  etc.
     Then there is the change I decided to make in myself.  I decided to let go, and let grow.  You guys,  I have never made a better decision in my life, then to really let go. Let go of my past.  All of it. My hurts, failures, loves, hates...just everything.  One cant move forward if they have not truly let go of their past.  I decided to let grow, spiritually, mentally and physically.  I started weightlifting and running.  I started seeking God, I started making conscious good decisions for myself and my family.  Like you know what, maybe its ok, to let your kids eat watermelon and popcorn for supper every now and then, and maybe its ok to live in a camper all summer, and you know what, its ok to have a little fun, to be a little silly, and to set a happier mood in life.  Maybe its ok to stop being so serious and start being more me. No comparing, no judging, just loving!
     The last year we have moved all over the place, mostly in a camper. recently we decided that it was a good idea to move back to our home town, and look for a house.   Me start working out side of the home. To put Danny in preschool.  these, people, are all things I would have been terrified at a year ago. However right now, I am super excited to start my new CNA job.  I am Excited (bitter sweet) for Danny to start preschool.  and you guys I'm very excited that we are getting some where on buying a house, that it seems doable, and that it is not quite so far off in the future.  How did I get here? One small step at a time, because folks, life is a journey. 
xoxo
Trina

                                                 finished my first half marathon today!