5 Reasons My Parenting Has In-proved Over 3 Years

I used to look at parenting as something that would just come natural to me. something that as my child got older we could just figure it all out together.  I had no plan.  I had no agenda. I was just winging it.  and honestly for the most part i still am. amidst all the chaos, God has given me some mercy and gave me some direction on what all this parenting stuff is about.    I would like to share with you five reasons my parenting has improved in the last 3.5 years.   Ways i have evolved into a better mom, and person in whole. 

1.  I learned my first lesson when Danny my 3.5 year old was just a babe, I started to think that just because every one else's kid can do (that special learning trick) meant that my 3  month old should be doing that to. Because "He was defiantly ready."  I, for some reason thought that going with the flow was how you parent. That's what other parents do, there for, I should be doing that .  One day I was  frustrated with tummy time and my kid was not crawling yet at 6 months, and he was crying with the baby food I fed him.  At that moment I realized that parenting is about raising you kid to be who they are.  Not raising him to be a clone to everyone else's kid. Who cares if he is not quite ready to crawl.  He will figure it out.  and  if that yucky food gives him a tummy ache, maybe I should revert back to the basics of only breast feeding.  He is only six month old remember?   It's at that point I changed how I looked at his growing charts.  Instead of wondering why he was not like everyone else's baby, I was in awe of how beautiful and truly special this little bundle of joy really was.  
2.      Through out my mom carer I have pretty much done a little of everything.  I have put my kids in day care and worked.  I have left them home with hubs and worked, and I have stayed home with them as a stay at home mom (SAHM).  Before I started staying home with my kids I worked a 30 hour busy week for a in home Health care co.  All My co workers were very passionate about there work which was wonderful, but What was supposed to be a 1 month 'get us though a tough spot' job turned into a 8 month 'I'm missing my children's lives' demanding job. That I loved, but some times I will admit that I would think about my kids at work and burst into tears.  the thought that some one else was taking care of MY BABIES, just seemed so heart wrenching to me!  Then I realized something, whats more important?  My kids or extra spending money?  In the long run its my kids. Money comes and goes, but family is the most important investment of all.  That night I went home, talked to my hubs, and wrote out a one month notice that I was quitting my job. Financially I could, and my kids were just that important.    Surprisingly that was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  When you have all that time to spend investing in there lives, it makes things less stressful, and everyone happier.  When I put them first, It changed my point of view. It helped me realize how important I am to them.   How much they need me. 
3.  OK, I'm not really proud of this story, but I am so Passionate about this, I have to share how this experience changed me, and my Mommy tactics for ever.   I found myself in this moment: I was so frustrated,  (Being a SAHM is not easy.) We were all having a bad day. something kinda important to me got knocked off its shelf that day.   I distinctly remember My son telling me 'mom stop yelling at me please'.  Wow that hit hard.  I have read lots of literature on how yelling at your kids can damage them for life.  But when my 3 year old told me that to my face, I just about broke down into tears.  I knelt down and told him I was sorry.  because He is right.  Do I like being yelled at???  Easy answer. NO.  So why do I treat him in a way that I my self would not want to be treated.   From then on, I have led a one house no yelling at my kids Campaign.   We are still working on it, but the just knowing how it made my baby boy feel, has given me all the strength to try harder to be as calm as ever with them.  
4.    Some times winging it is just fine.  By winging it I mean maybe you don't have a well thought out methodical plan on how you are going to teach your kids to be good humans.  How ever you know what your doing is working so you just take one day at a time.   I realized that maybe my library at home does not include tons of literature on how to raise children the right way.  But I have a computer and google. What matters is, I Have a teachable spirit.  I'm not afraid to ask for advise.  That does not mean I will follow it to the letter, or follow it at all.  However, it means that as I go down this journey I will learn along the way. And that's OK.  I need to spend less time trying to be prepared for what might happen, and more time, just living for each moment.   You have no idea how having this kind of attitude has helped me just enjoy my kids, and that has brought me to me last point.   
5.   Five.  I have learned to have fun.  If I don't have FUN with my kids, we are not happy.  Its like I'm the child police not the Mom.  I don't want my kids to fear me.  I want them to have respect, but know how to have fun.  That good pranks are OK.  That its OK to be funny.  Tickle fights are fun, and waiting to jump out of the corner is fun too. unless you are asked not to.  There are limits, but its OK to enjoy life. Life is beautiful, it is NOT a drudgery.  When I begin to enjoy my children, they begin to enjoy me.  When you start to truly Find joy in your children, you see things in a different light.  My munchkins went from being little monsters who break everything, in my eyes, to my baby angels, who are not perfect, but are so beautiful, and innocent, who hold the strings to my heart, and play them like a violin.  

  Here is to a world of better parenting. Here is to a happy Family!  Here is to the future! 

XOXO

Trina