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Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Healing

      Healing.  That's what I've been focusing on this year.  My definition of healing?  "Being able to move on. Leave the past behind and forgive so that my wounds stop hurting."
    Those of you who know me well, know I am from a broken family.  And when your family is broken, you are too.  Slowly and gently God has put back together the peices that were shattered on the floor of my heart.  Yet even as God was putting those peices back, the devil was tearing others down.  I was allowing myself to heal in some big ways but getting bitter and more broken in others.  When I began my fitness journey the first of this year, I told my self and God that I was going to become whole in body and spirit.  I did not realize what that would require of me.  Now I know.   Sometimes it is so hard to let go. This weekend I was focusing on what Jesus did for me and realized I can't forgive one person for something that was really pretty little in comparison, yet He...He forgave the whole world?????!!! So as I work my body every morning for 2 hours at the gym in hopes to get my "farm girl muscles" back, I'm focusing on working my spirit as well.  Whith every curl I am allowing myself to let go.  Each day I am asking God to help me forgive, and realizing that the more that I hold on to the things that hurt me the more hurt I become. The more I just get eaten up inside.  If I want to become a better person it starts inside of me not outside. I'm working  them both together and learning as I go.   For those people who hurt me they are just humans just like me. God loves me too just as much as he loves them. I need to stop holding on to years gone.   I need to live in the present not the past.  I need to set an example for my own children.  I want the cycle of hurting ones children to end with me.   I can't do that if I'm still allowing myself to be hurt however I can do that if I allow myself to heal.  This was one of those healng moments.

Just a quick peak into my heart!
Xoxo Trina

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